Today was my first day out of the flat, in an attempt to try and get back into the uni life. It backfired. Massively. It started off well, I got a lift with people from campus who were car pooling to save parking fees, as i thought it would be less effort than taking the bus, but it turned out to be a big mistake as they parked at the car park furthest away from uni. So actually, it was further than if I had just taken the bus in the first place. The car park was on the far end of campus, and the bio building which I needed to get to was at the other far end. I proceeded to walk, but it was a hundred times more difficult than I had first thought. My arms were just not strong enough to carry my entire weight on crutches, and it was so tiring I had to stop at nearly every sitting point I could find. I proceeded to cry on several occasions from the frustration of it all. Eventually, an hour later I managed to get to the half way point (the library). I plonked myself down on a chair infront of a computer and started to seek help. It was just too much for me, I was so frustrated and (quite unsuccessfully) trying to hold back the tears, and I all I knew was that I needed to go home. My foot felt like it weighed a ton and I was just not fit enough to carry myself around on just my arms. I smelled gross from bathing myself in sweat trying to make it to my destination, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.
Eventually and hour later my buddy Jen appeared online on Facebook and I asked her if she was able to drive me home. Luckily she was om campus and was happy to do so, and so she helped me home. The relief of a friendly face and a helping hand really was a comfort and was really appreciated. Not long later I was in my room, sprawled out on the bed, where I could proceed to cry in peace. Luckily, the girl I was going to help today said not to worry if I didn’t make it inn, so I explained to her I tried, but it was just too much. I then threw down two pain killers which proceeded to make me fall asleep for 4 hours. When I woke up, I had a nice talk with my Dad, who could offer kind words of support and love. I really miss my parent’s right now, I could so use their love and help.
So there you have it. I feel like I have hit rock bottom today. I truly feel awful, and I have no idea how I am going to even go to ANY classes with this cast if it takes me an hour to cross merely half the campus. I feel like never leaving my flat ever again.