Not usually a topic that pops up on my blog that often, but today I thought it was worth a little mention. I’m going to the bio ball next Friday and so I was in need of some ball gown attire, but considering that my entire wardrobe consists of baggy jumpers and jeans this required me to buy something new for the occasion. Saturday morning I tried a couple of Emily’s dresses in the hope I wouldn’t have to drag myself into town, but none of them took my fancy, so David and I headed out for some gown shopping in Norwich. Those who know me will know I despise shopping for clothes for multiple reasons, including unnecessarily crowded spaces, loud music, hot temperatures and lots of clothes changes, resulting in me becoming quite sweaty and exhausted from the whole ordeal. Not to mention the cost of clothes. Most importantly though, I despise clothes shopping because of how much I despise confronting my own body and all it’s flaws. I’ve always felt ignored by the fashion chains, it’s always been a struggle to find things that fit my body and my body shape, and so why would I enjoy the experience? Every time I try a piece of clothing it’s a reminder of how far from Kate Moss my appearance is, and well.. let’s be frank.. self esteem and happiness had been thrust upon women by society to be intrinsically linked with how we look.
That’s not to say things haven’t changed. I’ve definitely come to love my body more than I ever have before. I live in it, it’s my home, it works perfectly, and that’s something to celebrate and cherish. It can do amazing things like heal itself and patch up wounds or rebuild itself after breaking bones. I’ve come to realize that no one looks like Kate Moss either, not even Kate Moss, because most of the time her images are all altered and touched up. I bet if I was to stand next to her, I would see how real she was, all her “flaws” and bodily quirks, just like me. I like my body in fact, it’s lumps, crinkles, wrinkles, stretch marks, grey hairs and zits. They make me.. me! I guess you can say that I am in fact finally comfortable in my own skin. However, personal body acceptance still doesn’t miracolously make shopping any easier or the clothes chains market and design clothes any differently, so I still had to face the ordeal of finding a suitable outfit that’s my style and which will fit my body out in commercial jungle land. David and I walked around several stores, not finding even anything worth trying on. I finally tried on some pieces in the third store, with no luck. Two stores after that, in Debenhams, we finally came across a large party dress collection and found several things to try. In the wardrobe I was getting tired and fed up, and told myself if these didn’t suit me I was going to call it a day and just use Emily’s back up. I then slipped on the black, sparkley dress and realized I finally did it! It was absolutely perfect! Just my style, like something you would see at a 1920s party with waving lines of sequin and elegant, flowing, see-through sleeves. It’dark, nostalgic, glittery and just the right length. And it sits on my body great, hugging in all the right places. I feel comfortable and fabulouse.
I dare to say it’s the proudest purchase of clothing I’ve ever made, and it was only 30 pounds too. It’s something I can wear again and again to any fancy dressing up event in the future, so I consider it an excellent investment. It’s officially my favourite piece of fashion I have ever owned, and I am going to love it to bits until it’s completely worn out. Only after every sequin has dropped out am I going to say goodbye to it. I can’t wait for next Friday now, to get dressed up in elegant clothes, feel fabulouse, eat, drink and be merry like I’m in Fitzgerald’s world of The Great Gatsby.